This morning I had the sacred privilege of teaching a small Men's Group in Durango Colorado. We've been meeting for nearly 7 months, and our mission is simple "How do we become Better Men?" We're working through Jesus' sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5-7, and we're all finding new exciting ways to look at the Kingdom of Heaven revealed by Jesus. Often we find blind spots in our own thinking as we try to de-couple our own baggage from the essence of what Jesus calls us to be. But we're having fun, and we're learning a lot.
This morning I covered Matthew 6 where Jesus talks about being Anxious. "Don't worry about tomorrow for tomorrow has enough worries of it's own." The whole section is about learning to live under the knowledge that God has everything in control, and we don't.
Even as I was talking there was this fear bubbling up to the surface in my own spirit. I had to look directly in the eyes of the "what if's" of my life, and reconcile Jesus' words. I started asking myself, "Do I really believe this?"
"Look at the lilies of the field how they toil and spin. They're hear today and gone tomorrow. Don't you think your heavenly father thinks more highly of you?"
If I'm honest, I would say, "Well, of course I think it, but do I really believe it?"
I work hard to build.
I work hard to protect.
I work hard to innovate, and discover.
I work to understand how God wants me to live.
But I rarely am able to sit back and just say, "God, this is all yours anyway."
I think somewhere in the core of my spirit I truly believe these major parts of my life are held together by the things I do, rather than the things God allows.
If I'm honest, I live my life in a performance and reward narrative.
If I do...God wil do.
If I perform the way God asks me to perform, somehow he's going to reward that achievement.
As we sat in our small groups, one of our older wiser men said:
"You know sometimes we ride Mountain bikes. We ride these incredible trails looking for the perfect line through the single tracks here in Durango. But if you look to the right or the left, if you start exploring the dangerous places instead of the lines, you're bike will go right to them. Your bike goes where your eyes lead.
The same will happen if you look to the worry-some possibilities of fear, failure, and worry. If you allow your mind to wonder to worry, you're life will lead you to that place instead of living the life God has fashioned for you. Look for opportunities, instead of obstacles."
I could have stood up right there and shouted AMEN!!!
How many times do I look in the wrong direction, and find myself consumed with fear rather than the abundance of life God promised me to live?
Today, I'm choosing to look for God's way, not my own.
I'm looking for opportunity, not obstacle.
I'm banking on Jesus' words, "Don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow has enough worries of its own."