Creating Community is often a hard road to pave. Sure you can bring people together in a group, but what about deep honest relationships that forge friendships of a lifetime. Those kinds of community relationships don't happen by chance.
I've noticed in the work we do here at KIVU, the best relationships are melded together in the fire of honesty. It's fun to be a round a lot of people at a particular event, but it's life changing to meet someone who you can listen well with. Talking about the latest football game is fun, but sharing life's struggles together is meaningful.
Lately I've been reading about the necessity of being honest in accountability groups. I have to admit, I'm not a big fan of the whole accountability movement. It seems more like a prison sentence than a place where people can go to develop friendships. If both people don't see the group as something that's helping us through the hardest times, it just turns into a confession of how we fail, and nobody needs that.
We already know we fail.
We already know how far we are to the place we really want to be.
And to stand up and confess our laundry list of problems, isn't what I'm talking about.
I've seen groups work effective when all are dedicated to the better of the other. That way, when something needs to be communicated, it's not a place of judgement, but a place of healing. As several members of the community listen with an ear of encouragement, rather than a heart of competition, there's real magic in that place.
I've had a great opportunity to walk with 4 guys in my life that know everything. They know everything about me. They've celebrated HUGE successes, and they've been in the trenches when I don't know which way is up. They stand willing, together, to drag me out of the black hole of life when it starts spinning, and with those life lines, I can wake up each morning and do the same.
As we talk about how to live in community, and how to develop places of honesty in our own sphere of influence, let's not forget the valuable place to be brutally honest with each other. It's risky, but if you find like minded people, it's overwhelmingly rewarding.